WHat is the one thing an alcoholic needs everyday? Rehab.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Boy, it's hot in here!" The second muffin replies, "Yes, I'm in a lot of pain. Also, I've had a headache for quite a while now. I went to the doctor last Thursday and he preformed an X-ray but the results are not back yet. This extreme heat is likely worsening my already fragile physical health."

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youre gay

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What has 4 eyes, but can't see? 2 blind people.

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What's the difference between a duck? I'm sorry, I was typing too quickly and missed off the end of my sentence. I meant to say "What's the difference between a duck and a goose?" and the answer is that they are entirely different species of waterfowl.

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Went to the corner shop - bought 4 corners.

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whats the difference between a pizza and a jew -a pizza is food

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So a seal walks into a club...

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Why did the man cross the road? He was obviously trying to get to his work, however he realized he was jaywalking in front of a cop and had to pay a fine and ended up being late to work.

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What did the 5 year old girl ask Santa for Christmas? A pony.

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Why don't seagulls live in the bay? Because then they'd be bagels

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I once bought a pack of batteries but they weren't included.

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There are four worms moving in a straight line, one in front of the other. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied.

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Who was the dinosaurs favorite NBA player? He didnt have one. Dinosaurs became extinct far before the NBA was established.

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What is worse than a worm in your apple? The holocaust

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q: whats fat hairy and always eats mcdonalds a playboy model i lied about everything

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Roses are rde, violets are bule, I am dyslexic, how about you?

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Knock Knock! we have a door bell ...ding dong. its broken.

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a Mormon knocked on my front door three times, and i took three seconds to answer, whe shook hands for three seconds. how many dead kittens can fit in my blender?

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? You kill his family.

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Why did man push another man off of a building? Because he is a homocidal maniac and should be in federal prison

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What makes the world go round? Gravity.

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An antijoke

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Women rights..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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