Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Getting your balls chopped off by a maniac on LSD.

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A man has a parrot who repeats everything the man says. He constantly complains about his mother-in-law and everytime he says her name it follows with the word bitch. One day she makes a suprise visit and he greets her with a "Oh hello Doris" , he looks in horror to see if the parrot will call her a bitch but instead finds the parrot dead because he forgot to feed it for 4 days.

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There was once a boy named Aladin. He was very poor until he found a magic lamp. When he rubbed the lamp, a genie poped out of the lamp. He said... "I will grant you one wish, master" Aladin thought about this for a long time, until eventually he said... "I wish for all the chocolate in the world" "Very well, master" And the genie granted his wish and Aladin had all the chocolate in the world Unfortunately, because he ate so much chocolate, Aladin died of heart & liver failure

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Sugar is sweet. You're adopted.

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Is Mike here? Mike Hunt? Has anyone seen Mike Hunt? Yes teacher, he is home sick with the flu.

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knock knock, whos there? the bum bum boys ready to dance :) ``~ ``sms

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Why can't Larry drive? Because he doesn't have his license, and his temps expired!

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I just wrote three jokes on antijoke.com ... nope, make that four.

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Water is blue. Fire is red. Come on let me show you what happen in the bed.

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Have you seen Hellen Keller's dad? Neither did she

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What was the women doing out of the kitchen? Watching the movie 'Birth of a Nation' at her father's house

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Q. how to kill the germ on a food. A. wash it with bleach.

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How do you have gay sex? I don't know ask Jordan Braun

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Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens? Because they kept saying Bach bach Bach. No. Beethoven was deaf. He couldnt understand what they were saying.

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Don't you hate it when you have 5 dead bodies, and you don't know which one to shoot your load on? -no

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What do the Mexican man, the Asian man and the Jewish man all have in common? "man"

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The stone said to tree I wanna be car the tree replied you cant be a car. Forever a stone

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Q. What do you call a small hen that can't lay eggs properly? A. A small hen that can't lay eggs properly.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Shit on her face

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What word is always spelled wrongly? None of them. Every word has been spelled right at some point.

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A black guy, a mexican, and an arab are all in the same car, Whos driving the car? The black guy because he politely offered and his friends were happy to ride with him.

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The Dalai Lama orders a slice of pizza for $2 and gives the cashier a $5 bill. He then realizes he hasn't been given any change, so he asks for his change. The cashier quickly apologizes and hands the Dalai Lama three dollar bills.

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Q:What's black, wrinkled and smells like raisins? A: A raisin.

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Why did the black man offer the girl flowers? It was his niece's birthday.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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