What did the hammer say to the screwdriver? You're a tool

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Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Your doorbell is broken.

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What do you do when you see an elephant with a basket ball? Engage in play - if the elephant is playing with a basket ball it is most likely domesticated, and if it has toys it's probably well treated. Well-treated elephants raised in captivity are tolerant, sociable, intelligent and playful.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: This is actually a really good question which leads me to wonder why the farmer let the chicken out in the first place.

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A small mexican boy saves up enough money to buy his very own skateboard. His mother is dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running away from KFC.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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What did the penis say to the vagina? Cover me, im going in.

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How many electricians does it take to screw on a light bulb? 1

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What is Yellow and American? A yellow american

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a man walked into a bar he had no recollection of entering the bar so he exited the bar

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-How do you kill a douche? -You stab him untill he cries out in mercy and stops moving.

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What looks like a rainbow but isn't seen in the sky? A drawing of a rainbow

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What's the difference between a pizza and a girl? I've stuck my penis in a pizza

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? statutory rape

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a toothpick

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If life hands you lemons you're probably hallucinating

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Remember when Jesse Ziegenbein was skinny? yeah niether do I

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Question: What do you call the black guy wearing a white shirt? Answer: Steve. His parents game him the name at birth, and he is called that ever since.

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There are 3 types of people, those that can count and those who can not.

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What is the way to a man's heart? Through his stomach. With a knife. Then then go up a little.

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Why did the plane to New York not land? It was redirected to Boston because of inclement weather.

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Why was the prostitute unsuccessful? because she had no vagina

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Several ways to annoy people: Grab the end of their shirt to blow your nose Try to shove a bowling ball down there throat Try to sell them a broom and vacuum Try to eat their babies paint their toe Nibble their ankles Ask if you can babysit their crystal and if they say no start whining Carry around your chicken and ask if they want a nugget

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops