Ten green bottles hanging on the wall, Ten green bottles hanging on the wall, And if one alcoholic should one day stroll along: There'll be no more bottles hanging on the wall.

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What do you get when you stab a man in the leg with a knife? A court summons because you have committed a horrible crime

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A: Doctor doctor help me! B: Sorry, I'm not actually a doctor, stop calling me that!

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 brutally murdered 6's entire family.

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Whats brown and can't ride a bike? A lampshade.

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Yo mama so fat that you should maintain strong eye contact with her and not look at her body.

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Why did the boy cry? Because he was a crybaby

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy launched a flare. Nobody came.

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him to leave.

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Why did the Pakistani man cry when the Nigerian man was killed in a terrorist attack? They were lovers.

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how do you keep an idiot in suspense. I dont' know he still hasn't told me

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roses are red violets are blue if you and your sister were hanging from a cliff i'd save your sister

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what do all elephants have in common? they are all monkeys

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. It was hanging on a clothes line he didn't see, the fact that he was dyslexic is irellevant.

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What is fat and ginger? No...Not Garfield...Rebeka Tims

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Why do Squirrels accidentally plant millions of trees. Because they bury their nuts and forget where they are.

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How do you get a blond out of tree? Shoot her in the head.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, Who had an average-sized penis he only used during monogamous sex with his spouse.

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knock knock! who's there? me.(walks away...)

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Bläeghen-Fassybìll-No?cheb!

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I don't have friends, so I'm anti-social.

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What do you get when you cross a pig and a cactus? A godless abomination that violates every ethical standard known to man.

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did you hear the one about the elephant with a screwdriver? me neither...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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