A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic, it's destroying his family.

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what do you call it when a leopard starts losing its spots? leopard-osy! submitted by: pukey mcshakes

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Knock Knock Come in.

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What do you call an epileptic in a bowl? James, if that happens to be his name.

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if life gives you lemons, make lemonade. unless you only get one lemon, then it really hard to make a good glass..and for that matter, who said you had a juicer? it would be really hard to just squeeze the juice out of a lemon. on top of that, what kind of situation am I in that I would need lemonade? let's say if life gives you lemons, determine the best use of them based on need, local weather and economic status

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Why did the black kid fail in school? Because of the achievement gap.

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why did the chicken cross the road? I dunno.

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Whats Orange,Leathery gets passed around by sweaty dudes and the next name will start with an S Snooki

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why did the boy poop his pants Yhe Holocaust

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why did my girlfriend fail her test? she was pregnant :'(

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A man cheats on his wife and ruins his marriage of 24 years.

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Jonathan is like a btterfly. They're both asianu

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Why did Suzy drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Suzy!

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Two oranges walking down the street, one says to the other, "Where do you live?". The other replies "I'm not telling you, you'll steel my washing"

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What is the difference between a monkey and a pig? A monkey doesn't snort drugs.

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What do you think about whats happening in the middle east right now? You're an idiot.

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What's worse than being human? Nothing... No I literally mean nothing at all. Like not being anything?

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I was going to write a joke about how I have alzheimers but than I forgot it

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? Just one.

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How does a blonde get pregnant? (I don't know) And you thought blondes were dumb.

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Why was the deaf boy crying at Christmas? He got an iPod.

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What do you call a person falling off a cliff Dead

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Yo mama so fat she was diagnosed with diabetes and now has to regulate her daily intake of foods.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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