man walks into a bar and the bartender says, "you sir are gay!" The gay man says, "I take offense to that!" The bartender then replies "how may I help you."

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Why are VIOLETS blue?

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What do you get when you cross the ocean with a dinosaur? Wet.

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Why was the ginger crying? Because they used him as the fire hydrant.

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whats the difference between boyscouts and a jew? boyscouts come back from camp.

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Beached whale: "Look at me, I'm a land mammal"

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The horse walks into the bar and the bartender says, "why the long face?" the horse looks at him and says, "my wife just died."

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What is the difference between a bright red Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Eight, because there's one tickle per tentacle!

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Did you hear about the dyslexic atheist that doesn't believe in god? His disorder has no effect on his belief system.

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Nero, sure you are okay?

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Why the girl have a crooked leg? Her grandma thought that she was a pretzel and while the girl was sleeping the grandma tried to bend the girls leg into a pretzel shape

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Why is the white man sad? Because he watched the titanic

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Q: Why don't chicken breasts have nipples? A: because if you freeze them, they will pop the package.

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A man is walking on the beach and discovers a lamp in the sand. He takes it home to polish it. Eventually it looks like new and he gets a fairly reasonable price from an antique shop.

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Knock Knock, Who's There? Not Ann Frank because she died in the Holocaust along with 6 million other innocent people.

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what is the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews are people and regularly attend a synagogue and pizza is and italian food that many people find to be enjoyable to eat

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You are in an airplane, and you have 500 bricks. You throw one out the door. How many do you have? 499. What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a fridge? 1-open the door,2-put the elephant in,3-close the door. How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? You open the door, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in, and shut the door. The lion king is having a party for all the animals… which one didn't go? The giraffe, it's in the fridge. An old lady is trying to cross an alligator infested river. She makes it over. How? The alligators are at the party. She dies anyway. How? She gets hit by the brick you threw out of the window.

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So a penguin walks into a bar. Penguin's have been affected by global warming so much that they decide to drink away as they near their final hours.

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who's specky and stinks of shit? josh moran

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What's black and white and red all over? A mime that got hit by a truck.

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Knock knock Get off my porch homo

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Whats black and white and red all over? My wife, i constantly beat her and I should probably be arrested for it if she didnt love me so much

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What do you call a cat up a tree in a party hat? A cat up a tree with a party hat

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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