What did the fly say to the spider? Please, I have a wife and daughter.

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Roses are read violets are blue i ate a fetus now you die to

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Knock knock. Who's there? Penguin. Penguin who? The penguin who apparently lives next door and somehow developed the ability to successfully interact with other species through gesture and retoric.

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So a man walks into a bar. Unfortunately, he had brittle bone disease, cracked open his skull and bled to death on the pavement.

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Q: Why did Jimmy not have balls? A: A terrible, terrible sand paper accident.

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Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent get brutally murdered.

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What did Sally get for chirstmas? Cancer

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Why was the boy seeing stars? It was night time.

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why did the chicken cross the road? he was an escaped mental paitent

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A casual web surfer logs onto a website and reads half a joke.

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Theaters say silence is golden... Trap silence in a jar, make millions.

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Tony Romo

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What did the drunk homeless man get for his birthday? Liver cancer.

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Q.what do you call a dead baby? A. a dead baby

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What does a penguins wear on it's feet? Nothing penguins are incapable of wearing foot wear, also they do not have feet they are called 'flippers'.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? wheres my tractor

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because chad makes babies cry.

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Id like to apologize for the one below (near the end yeah at the very end yeah that near you fuck!) When I said I give candy to etc etc I did mean I do not give candy to... Well... Nothing male, and I do not apologize, thank you. Shortie: Me as a Sociopath vs Sociopath with faster gunplay: So A Sociopath moved into my neighborhood, he arrived at my place and said hey you? You the sociopa... "BOOM" Moral: Shoot first, listen later... And if you hear something keep shooting... Anyway that was not the Sociopath but I got him eventually.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, as asks the man running the stand, "Hey, got any grapes?" The man suffers a heart attack from the shock of a talking duck

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What's worse then biting into your apple and finding a worm? Biting into your apple and finding two worms.

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What time did the Chinese man go the dentist? About 5 minutes prior to his appointment

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How do you get a drugged man, a giant sombrero, and a guitar into a Chuck-E-Cheese? You take multiple trips.

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How do you kill Helen Keller? With a gun.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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