What did the alchoholic get for his birthday? Nothing. His alchohol abuse split up is family and now he is alone.

What did one saggy boob say to the other one? Better perk up or they'll think we're nuts.

Twelve billion Nero, you puppy dog you hot blooded latino man. Why cant I control it myself?

justin bieber over spongebob *snicker*

A man bought a white van, He later brutally molested a small boy.

How do you kill a blond? Stab her repeatedly in her throat

A man is eating in a restaurant and says, "Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!" The waiter says, "I'm sorry, can I bring you some salad instead?"

What do you call a black man driving a expensive sports car? A respectable member of society

TOFFEES HEAD LYING IN THE GRASS

Why is Michael Jackson bad at chess ? Because he is dead.

Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah Witness

how do you win a game try your best

Why did the fat person build a lift in his house? He was caring for his terminally ill mother which has a cancer and got both her legs amputated due to the cancer spreading to her legs.

Why did the cow fall Cause a fat kid pushed him over

You're Like A Book I Want To Put You Down

What did the homeless man find on the side of the street? A pile of dead babies.

Why did the man hang himself? Because his pistol misfired.

Why is Wednesday a bad day? Because at some point, Monday will come around again.

What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call it, they aren't going to come.

How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

What's faster than a Nascar Racecar? My thoughts. -Juanita

Why did the cop pull over a black guy? The man was breaking the law by going 82 mph in a 70 mph zone, which resulted in a 100 doller fine. Oh and the cop was a racist.

What did the little boy with a terminal illness get for Christmas? A gun

-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Jehovah's Witness. Have you heard the word of God?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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