What do you call a man with multiple sexual partners? Well, first you strongly urge him to get tested for any contagious and potentially dangerous STD's that could have been transmitted from one partner's genitalia to another person's genitalia which could have very well been he himself. They could be life threatening. Oh, and call him by his first name.

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Why did the man think inside of the box? Because he was inside of the box.

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In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

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A brunette child with a blond mother is crying. Why? Because his father was just mauled by a Scandinavian dragon.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He didn't, he died in the middle of this task.

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A man walks into a store. He purchases what he was intending to, walks out, and gets on with his day.

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My mates dad hasnt had a job in 20 years... its probably why there all homless outside my house.

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What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer

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Why does Larry the Cable Guy get his own T.V. show??? Why can't I have one of my own??? .......ah...forgot....I'm a minority...

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Twelve billion Nero, you puppy dog you hot blooded latino man. Why cant I control it myself?

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How do you kill a blond? Stab her repeatedly in her throat

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Why is Michael Jackson bad at chess ? Because he is dead.

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Person1: Have you heard about the girraffe who doesn't eat Georgia peaches? Person2: yes. Person1: Oh, never mind then.

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Whats funnier than Dane Cook. The Holocaust.

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Why couldn't Jesus get a driver's license? Because automobiles did not exist 2000 years ago.

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How do you kill someone? Shoot them. How do you kill someone with a knife? Shoot them How do you kill someone in a car? Shoot them How do you kill someone in a jet? Put the gun in the propeller

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Why is the earth round? Because God saw it was flat and thought "too flat lets turn it around" And all was good.

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A hipster walks into a bar you've never heard of...

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A guy has spikey things in his butt, what happened?............... He fell on a cactus.

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justin bieber over spongebob *snicker*

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah Witness

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What's do you call two bulls, a goat, and a horse? Farm Animals

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A man is eating in a restaurant and says, "Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!" The waiter says, "I'm sorry, can I bring you some salad instead?"

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What did one saggy boob say to the other one? Better perk up or they'll think we're nuts.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops