Q: What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? A: He died on Christmas Day, before his parents could tell him they had maxed out their credit cards to take him to Disney World. His father has since relapsed into alcoholism. He knows his wife is cheating on him with another man, but understands that she needs comfort that he cannot give her.

What do you call a deer with no eyes? A hurt animal that should promtly be taken to the RSPCA for surgery.

big fat hairy gigantic enourmous erectionn CC

Where do you find a dead hooker? where you left her.

Knock Knock, Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? Knock Knock...

How many men does it take to change a light bulb? None, there is nothing wrong with the light bulb.

why has kallum just changed clothes to speak to a counsellor because he's socially awkward and has no peers

Why is the man's nose bleeding? Because I punched him in the nose. He looked at me funny.

So there's a monkey in a bar. I forgot the rest of the joke but your moms a whore

i knew this one arab, who was so arab that there was nothing funny about him

why did the chicken cross the road? he didnt, its just a myth

What do you call a mailman who doesn't deliver mail? Unemployed

How do you get a Jew into a car? Tell him to get i the car.

There are two kids playing basketball outside one kid shoots and makes it. The other youngster exclaims "nice shot!" because the other boy put the ball in the hoop from a very long distance.

A man walked in to a store and asked for four candles. The storeman brought some fork handles and placed them on the counter. The customer said "No... 'Four Candles' a rather amusing sketch performed by The Two Ronnies, a comedy double act in the 1970s."

What sucks more than being married? Being shot in both kneecaps

your momma is so fat that she should be worried about her higher risk of heart disease, diabetes, and ugliness.

An asian and white guy walk into a bar, the white man says to the asian "Do I know you from somewhere?" The asian says. "Yes, I used to go to college with you." The white man remebers him, and they catch up on life.

whats funnier than 24? 25

Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black I'm blind

Care to fill in some of the etc etc`s for me? Its not like we are complete strangers one to another either, you and I I mean, I feel pretty secure around you.

What's the difference between your mother and a prostitute? Nothing.

what did one wall say to the other wall Nothing because its physically impossible for walls to talk

Roses are red. Violets are beer. Kay eckelkamp is in charge here.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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