What do you call a fish with no eye? Blind.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychological disorder.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens can walk wherever the hell they want. Leave them alone.

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What do a bike and a duck have in common? They both have handlebars except for the duck.

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why couldnt the african child eat enough food? he didnt have a mouth.

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What do you call cheese that is not yours? It depends on the type of cheese.

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Why did billy go to the beach? To spread his moms ashes on the sand.

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I like trees. Trees hate you. Bye.

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I like my women how I like my ice-cream Out cold.

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why did the bear cross the road? to get cream cheese.

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Two black guys walk into a bar. They had too much alcoholic substances and got alcohol poisoning. Their families mourned for days and their kids grew u without a father. The end.

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An anti joke a day... really doesn't actually do that much

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How many cows does it take to screw in a light bulb? Either one super cow or none because cows don't even have apposable thumbs

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Immigration Laws

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How do you know if an elephants been in your fridge? It's completely destroyed.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am adopted And so are you

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Why was the old man climbing the flag pole? Because he had Alzheimer, and he was losing his grasp of reality.

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Oh you have herpes? yeah, there's an app for that.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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A man is pulled over for drunk driving, and is asked to say the alphabet backwards. When requested to do so, the man says, "officer, I can't even do that when I'm sober," thus admitting that he is drunk. The police officer chuckles at the drunk man's stupidity, and wonders whether or not his wife would find the incident funny. After all, they do share a similar sense of humor.

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Son: "Mommy That Boy Over There Beat Me Up" Mom: Good I Like When You Suffer

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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What happens if you fell off a 600 foot cliff? You die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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