Doctor, Doctor, I can't feel my legs? We're going to have to amputate it to prevent infection, you won't be able to walk again.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the wizard say to the man? Wizards aren't real. Thus not able to speak.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was being chased by other cannibal chickens.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A man walks into a bar. It hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Can apples get viruses? No, they are a fruit, and fruit cannot get viruses.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Matthew Wyckoff

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what did jacob say to coach a joke

thumb_up thumb_down -15

"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "Yeah, but you make a really great sandwich!"

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Insert joke that isn't even an anti joke = The new jokes on anti joke now.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did Stephen hawking walk into A bar? He didn't. This situation is impossible considering the fact that he suffers from a horrible condition causing terrible muscular paralysis preventing him from walking.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapien, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call a car with no wheels? Trash

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? The bench can support a family of 4?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Your Mamma So Fat The Old Thing That Block's Her From Destroying Kid's Party's Is The Front Door

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did Susie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't she catch herself? She had no legs. What did she get for Christmas? Cancer. What did she get for her birthday? Nothing, she died.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the boy fall of the swing He had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Noooooooo...

thumb_up thumb_down -15

So, a Vulcan walks into a bar... and he doesn't say anything, because Vulcan's suppress their emotions.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why can't Helen Keller read? Because she is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar? Who me? Couldn't be.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Yo momma's so fat that when she asked the doctor, he said she could have such bad cardiovascular problems if yo mamma keep the typical sedentary habits, wich consist in a diet with a lots of fat and sugar, the lack of physical exercise and genetical characterists which make a person get fatter more easily.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A man walks into an oven. He suffers severe burns and dies on a hospital bed

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A Jew walks into a bar. He immediately turns around and walks out because prices at this particular high end bar are much too high for his liking.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops