PLEASE HELP IM TRAPPED IN SOME GUYS HOUSE PLEASE SOMEBODY HAS TO SEE THIS IF I TEXT HE WILL SEE IT IM AT

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why couldn't jack join the football team? Jack has down syndrome

thumb_up thumb_down +33

emma brown i did tap that shit -jackson edwards

thumb_up thumb_down +33

If you were expecting an antijoke you have come to the wrong place however here is a good recipe for a cake: Ingredients 2-1/2 cups 2% milk 1 cup butter, cubed 8 ounces semisweet chocolate, chopped 3 eggs 2 teaspoons vanilla extract 2-2/3 cups all-purpose flour 2 cups sugar 1 teaspoon baking soda 1/2 teaspoon salt FILLING: 6 tablespoons butter, cubed 4 ounces bittersweet chocolate, chopped 2-1/2 cups confectioners' sugar 1/2 cup heavy whipping cream GANACHE: 10 ounces semisweet chocolate, chopped 2/3 cup heavy whipping cream Directions In a large saucepan, cook the milk, butter and chocolate over low heat until melted. Remove from the heat; let stand for 10 minutes. Preheat oven to 325°. In a large bowl, beat eggs and vanilla; stir in chocolate mixture until smooth. Combine the flour, sugar, baking soda and salt; gradually add to chocolate mixture and mix well (batter will be thin). Transfer to three greased and floured 9-in. round baking pans. Bake 25-30 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in center comes out clean. Cool 10 minutes before removing from pans to wire racks to cool completely. For filling, in a small saucepan, melt butter and chocolate. Stir in confectioners' sugar and cream until smooth. For ganache, place chocolate in a small bowl. In a small saucepan, bring cream just to a boil. Pour over chocolate; whisk until smooth. Cool, stirring occasionally, until ganache reaches a spreading consistency. Place one cake layer on a serving plate; spread with half of the filling. Repeat layers. Top with remaining cake layer. Spread ganache over top and sides of cake. Store in the refrigerator. Yield: 16 servings.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What came first? The chicken or the egg? The egg, because breakfast comes before dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Mommy, why did daddy leave? Because you touch yourself at night sweetie.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What's worse than getting dumped? Heart Failure.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What do you call a muslim in an airplane? Whatever his name may be, though you could, of course, choose not to address him, though if it were a two-seater plane, it would be good manners to exchange polite conversation.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What is the best way to run a race? Start out fast, run fast in the middle, and finish fast.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why wasn't the tractor moving? Because the farmer was killed in a drive-by shooting.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

why did the man leave his house during a state of emergency? he didnt

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Beating cancer. Guess Steve Jobs they didn't make an app for that.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

pauls tuck

thumb_up thumb_down +31

knock, knock who's there you yoohoo i don't like chocolate milk!

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What do you call a midget driving a train? A conductor

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Michael Jackson walks into a daycare center.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Robin Williams walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? To which Robin Williams replies, "Because I'm going to kill myself."

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A man walked into the woods... Sorry, I forgot the rest of the joke...

thumb_up thumb_down +29

"The only thing worse than being talked about is getting AIDS." -Oscar Wilde

thumb_up thumb_down +29

whats purple and not a rapist barney, I lied about the rapist part

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Knock Knock. Who's there? Your landlord your being evicted we need you out in 2 weeks.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Doctor: Why the long face? Elephant Man: That's not my face that's a tumor.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What would you do if I said a horse ate your mother? It doesn't mattet, I didn't

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops