Who's on first? Garvey.

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well now

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A shark walks into a bar. The bartender asks someone to call animal control to remove the nearly-dead sea creature from his bar.

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A woman stopped making sandwiches.

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What's the biggest difference between white and black people? the melanin levels in their skin.

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A blindman walks into a bar... then a chair, then a pole

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What did one cow say to the other cow? Moo

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- I got kicked out of the library today. - why? - because I put the women's rights book in the fiction section

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He actaully never did. He only made it half way before a cop issued him with an infringement notice for jaywalking.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

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Why couldn't 7 multiply itself by 18? Because there were two people having sex in between them.

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Person: hey buddy have you heard the greteat news Freind: yea you have aids Person: no my wife jusr became a pristatue an she had ten patients already i was her first

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What's worse than stabbing your eye with a fork? Stabbing both your eyes with a fork.

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Q: What's worse than not having a good relationship? A: Starving Africans

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What's worse than a work in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Seeing the same joke repeated thousands of times on anti-joke.com.

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What is the difference between my dog and my girlfriend? I love my dog

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Three men were on a plane. One chucked an apple out the window. Unfortunately, due to the low pressure outside, all the men were sucked out the window.

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Timmy needed to use the restroom in class, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I go use the restroom?". The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said, "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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-Look! Up in the sky! -It's a bird! -Yep.

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What's blue and smells like red paint? That blue guy from Megamind.

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How come Pluto and Goofy are both dogs, but Goofy can talk and Pluto can't? Because Goofy can walk on two legs, and is therefore superior to Pluto in Walt Disney's eyes.

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what do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet? last years hide and go seek champion

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minorities

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Why can't the T-rex clap? Because it's extinct

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops