Girl, why are you crying? I'm not a girl, I'm a strawberry.

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so i can text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A mechanical wheelchair.

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What did the dog say when the tiger bit him? Nothing. Dogs don't talk.

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what did the blind kid boy get for Christmas? he doesn't know because his parents are mute.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye deer

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Why did the paraplegic roll his wheelchair up a steep hill? Because he's crippled.

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whats big, white and will kill someone if it falls out of a tree? a refridgerater

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a blonde takes 1 hour to swim 100m of breaststroke.

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so there was a frog a bear and a walrus... i forgot how the rest goes but they all die because of a nuclear holocaust

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why was the little girl crying? Because her family was dead

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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You had ONE job. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough to support your dying wife and ill child.

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I was very thirsty so I decided to go get some soda.Upon reaching the soda store I discovered a very long line. I decided to leave the line and instead get some milk, unfortunately once again there was a long line at the milk store. Discouraged by still thirsty I decided to try to luck at the punch store. There was a long line there also.

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what would u di if u were having anal sex with a black guy and his dick was soooo bi that ir rippped ur asshole? staple it back together

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Why did the prostitute begin to cry when she saw the chinese patron's penis? His testicles are diced onions.

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once opon a time. never mind i'm just going to beat you kids.

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Why did the teacher's cat die? It had cat herpes and feline immunodeficiency virus

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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why does the guy jack off to black on black porn? because he's black

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well use a tissue!

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Why did the accident happen? The breaks on the car stopped working. Why did the breaks stop working? The driver was drunk.

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what did the farmer do? plant

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i committed murder

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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