How many different ways can you kill a cat? 27, unless you live in Russia then it's 28

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Why were two black men fighting for a dollar that fell on the floor? Because they both lost their homes in the crashing market and have to care for their ill children that need money for medical expenses.

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What did Ghandi tell St Peter as he passed through the Gates of Heaven? He didn't. There is no afterlife.

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Why Johnny's parents threw out his broken bike? - ´Cause Johnny got ran over by a drunken driver yesterday, when he was cycling back home from school.

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roses are red violets are blue most poems rhyme but this one doesnt

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And so are you But the roses have wiltered The violets are dead The sugar bowl is empty And so is your head

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My dad is lactose intolerant. He shouldn't eat cheese.

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Wanna hear a joke? Your contact list.

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How did the boy fall off his bike? A fridge was thrown off him

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What did the coat say to the dog? Nothing, the coat was inanimate

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?"

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what is Rebecca black's favorite restaurant? Ruby Tuesdays

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why did the blind kid cross the road... because he was sick of being blind

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what does a slim jim taste like? there is no answer because everyone has a different amount of taste buds

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i have a story to tell u!!! oh s*** i forgot!

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What do you call a ginger in an oven? A ginger in an oven

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What's worse than dieing? Not much.

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Three dogs are barking at a wall. People walk by thinking "Why are these dogs barking at a wall?".

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I used to have a shirt just like yours, except it was green. And it was a bicycle.

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How can a hobo become rich? It can't. It died from food poisoning from eating food out of the trash.

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A girl and her friend got into a fight. They both bled to death.

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Why did Lindsay Lohan talk to her car? Because she's insane

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Grease is the word that you heard it's got groove it's got meaning

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a older brother and a lil brother have bunk beds, one night the older brother has his gf sneak over, they are going to have sex. he tells his gf, "say lettace for a new positon and say tomato for stop", they start and she screams, "lettace, tomato, lettace, tomato". then the lil brother says " will you guys stop making salad, ur getting mayonase all over my face!!!!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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