roses are blue violets are red heres a gun now your dead

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Why was young Timmy Crying? Unfortunately he had a very rare but serious heart condition and he would probably die within a week.

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"What's your name?" "Josephine." "Josephine?" "No, Josephine." "That's what I said." "I know,"

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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What's worse than nailing 10 babies to one tree? nailing 1 baby to ten trees.

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why did billy fall on the sidewalk? he got stabbed

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Two horses are playing in a field, One says to the other "Hey, sup" they then continue playing.

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Did you hear the joke about Helen Keller? She's dead.

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"knock knock?" ITS 2012 WE HAVE DOOR BELLS!!!

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Q: What's funnier than rape? A: Many things such as murder or nuclear warfare.

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Sometimes I finger myself to some Madonna and Mary J. Blige shit. - Jesse

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Im black and want attention. I also love fried chicken and love Africa call for a good, African-American time..... Im black 4025406623

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ROMEO ROMEO WHEREFORE ART THOU ROMEO

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Q. Why did the dinosaur cross the road? A. Because chickens hadn't evolved yet.

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What is green and red and is going super fast? A frog in a blender.

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A man walked into a room and said to his friend, "I am about to show you something amazing." He claps twice and the lights turn on. He is using a device called The Clapper made by Joseph Enterprises, Inc. using advanced technology that was patented in 1985.

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If Alex Maitland reads this he is gay

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Why did the girl have an abortion? Because she wanted a burger.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? -a black man that left his family

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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Why did the bald man lose his hair no not cancer obviously AIDS.

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What do you get when you jump into the Red Sea? Wet.

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What did you the blonde death amuptee child get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Once a upon a midnight haven. Along came a cow name Mr. Maven. For they say the cow was very lucky. But oh what a day for something very mucky. Oh ye the coming of Mr. Maven and his milk. And for every cereal there will be silk. But wait isn't Mr. Maven a guy? How can you milk him even if you try? I don't know, just sounds cool.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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