Two ladies are walking down a road. One says, "It's freezing out here!" and then the other woman, who is a scientist, says "No it's not freezing. The freezing point of oxygen is -365.82 degrees F. So, unless it is actually that temperature outdoors, I highly doubt that it is freezing outside."

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I like my coffee the way I like Christina Aguilera - I don't.

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Why is the earth round? Because God saw it was flat and thought "too flat lets turn it around" And all was good.

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-Knock! Knock! -Who's there? -Bob. Is Brian's here? -Wrong adress. Brian's home is the first one at your right. -Oh sorry. Have a nice day.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Police The Police who? YOU'RE UNDER ARREST! GET DOWN ON THE FLOOR! NOW!

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AIDS is not a lifestyle it's a choice - and you chose wrong.

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Nope, but you know those like little stop motion things with clay figures? Plompsters or something?

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Billy wanted a toy for Christmas. Sadly, Billy died before Christmas.

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What did the apple say to the Banana? ....Nothing... fruit don't talk

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Your momma so stupid, she dropped out of school at a young age of 12.

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They say animal behavior can warn you when an earthquake is coming. Like the night before that last earthquake hit, our family dog took the car keys and drove to Arizona.

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Roses are red Violets are T I T S I like T I T S T I T S

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Why is 6 afraid of 7 ? : Because 7 8 9

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A man walks into a barbershop. He gets a crew cut and leaves.

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What did Hitler say to Mussolini? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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:( You are right Nero, I am terribly sorry, when I see you, I see the brightest man I have ever seen, should you ever turn against me and stop underestimating yourself, there is nothing I could do.

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How do you earn a bunch of money all at once? Walk into Hot Topic and say "I have knives for sale!"

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roses are red violets are microwaves i have amnesia what ma name iiizzz 'SHAWTAY

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No, but I am not just an author, the important thing is, that this kid has been stopped as we speak, as I said he was selling information to several clients on the deep web, and patterns do reveal that he was selling you out piece by piece while prepared to make a run for it once he delivered the vital details. Say, did you promote this guy a bit too fast or something? Either he knows as much as you do, or otherwise he has been learning the ins and outs of your little place pretty fast.

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what did the hammer do on the test -he nailed it.

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Yo mamma is SO fat, she is classified as fat.

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How do you make a Cowboy cry? You kill his family.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are stupid. It most likely starved to death when it got stuck in a hole.

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Why is it okay to have four cats? Because I said so.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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