A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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There are 5 men in a desert a black man a white man a gay a lesbian and a white woman they have no food or water and haven't had any in 3 weeks civilization is 1 mile away how many people live and which ones They all die you can only live 3 days without water.

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What do you call a man with multiple sexual partners? Well, first you strongly urge him to get tested for any contagious and potentially dangerous STD's that could have been transmitted from one partner's genitalia to another person's genitalia which could have very well been he himself. They could be life threatening. Oh, and call him by his first name.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? WNBA

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How do you know if an elephants been in your fridge? It's completely destroyed.

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Immigration Laws

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens can walk wherever the hell they want. Leave them alone.

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An anti joke a day... really doesn't actually do that much

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Two black guys walk into a bar. They had too much alcoholic substances and got alcohol poisoning. Their families mourned for days and their kids grew u without a father. The end.

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How many cows does it take to screw in a light bulb? Either one super cow or none because cows don't even have apposable thumbs

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A man walked into a bar, He then realised that he was likely to become the butt of a joke quite soon and subsequently left to take his kids to the park.

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why did the bear cross the road? to get cream cheese.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I got a baseball bat can i talk to you ?

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Why did billy go to the beach? To spread his moms ashes on the sand.

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What do you call cheese that is not yours? It depends on the type of cheese.

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I like trees. Trees hate you. Bye.

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How do you make a miner sad? You cut his d*ck off then feed it to his family.

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What did the Insomniac, Dyslexic Priest do? He stayed up all night wondering if there really is a Dog.

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George Bush told Jared Fogle that he did 9/11. Jared Fogle replied "I did 9 11 year olds"

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What do you call a fish with no eye? Blind.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am adopted And so are you

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What do a bike and a duck have in common? They both have handlebars except for the duck.

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I like my women how I like my ice-cream Out cold.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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