What did the orange say to the lemon? "Hello"

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What did George Washington say before he crossed the Delaware? "Get in the boat."

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Q: Why is Alzheimer not funny? A: To get to the other side.

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Q:How do you get better at boxing? A:Get a bigger package Daniel W. Schnurr

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The cow's name was Friday, But can you guess what day it died? Monday, it had a fun weekend with its family before it was brutally slaughtered.

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How do you rescue a fat girl that's stuck under a car? With a pickaxe and a donkey.

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Kid A:We're home alone, you know what that means. Kid B:Cover ourselves in vaseline and slide around like slugs on the kitchen floor? Kid A:Yes

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Hi i love black men so much and i am a jewish faggot bye

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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Real Joke: The US Air Force operates Seymour Johnson Air Force Base. It is named for a seaman. Go look it up.

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c======3

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Hey I just met you. And this is crazy. So get in my van. Cause I have candy.

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What's worse than getting dumped? Heart Failure.

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how do you prevent a chicken from contracting aids?? you make him a little chicken condom.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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What did the fat kid eat for dinner? Salad, he's on a diet.

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whats similar between a chicken and an alligator they both gobble except for they alligator

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How many Woman does it take to change a lightbulb? none they had a back up lamp

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Double-whammy

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You know what assuming leads to... .....Assumptions.

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Three men are sitting in a tub. One of them says "Toss me the soap." The second one says "Toss me the shampoo." The third one says "Toss me the toaster."

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Weebles wobble, but paralyzed kids fall down.

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Q; What's the new slogan for the TSA? We handle more junk than EBay.

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A red and blue penguin are taking showers. The red penguin can't find the soap so he yells down the hall to the blue penguin "Hey, where is my soap?" The blue penguin replies, "What do I look like a typewriter?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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