What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage?

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What did the man say when he lost his keys? I lost my keys. What did the man say when he saw an elephant in the distance? There is an elephant in the distance.

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knock knock *opens door* WE DON'T WANT ANY!

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Father "Why so down son?" Son "I've always been this short..."

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. They are baked until ready and then enjoyed be the person who made them.

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What's worse than this That :(

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knock know. who there?.............. whose there?.........whose there!?!?! damn kids

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Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? Because he's dead!

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What do you call a woman who loves sex and food? A fat whore.

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Girls soccer

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Q. Why did the woman cross the road? A. She didn't. She's still in the kitchen because I beat her if she's not cooking or cleaning.

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Why did the suicidal terrorist swim with fish? He heard the SEALS we coming for him.

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roses are red violets are blue

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Your Face... It's Beautiful.

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Why doesn't a ducks quack echo? Actually, it does, but the echo is imperceptible to human ears.

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Yo mama's so gay, she's a guy.

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Why the USA support the 'Kony 2012'? For Oil

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In the movie "Sherlock Holmes". Why is Sherlock Holmes gay???? Because he was chasing "Blackwood".

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What did the straw say to the other straw? We are both straws just kidding they cant talk

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I am a schizophrenic, so am I.

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Q: What did Peter say after a long day of work when he got home? A: Nothing, in fact he has job, home, family, or anyone to help him. His leg is pinned down by a large piece of metal that fell on him while looking for food to eat at a construction site, expect him to die of bleeding in the next 24 hours.

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Which came first the chicken or the egg? The egg because if a chicken came first then that means chickens magically appeared. Eggs however may change over time through evolution by a common ancestor because after millions of years of hatching, it slowly mutated by natural selection and became to what is now known as the domestic chicken. (Applause)

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Why was the boy sick? Because he accidently ate his own feces.

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How did baby Bobby spend his summer vacation? He didn't, he died from heat exhaustion.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops