rock crushes scissors, scissors are useless. scissors cut paper, little stips of paper are usless. paper covers rock, structure of rock remains intact.

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What should you say when someone says a bad joke? I'm sorry, your joke cannot be completed as dialed. Please hang up and don't try again.

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What did the Triceratops get for his birthday? Nothing. Dinosaurs are extinct.

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how do you make a cat get out of a tree you shot it

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Why did the black man quit his job as a rapper? Because he was an admirable father and husband and was willing to sacrifice his passion to provide for those he loved.

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Why did the little girl's pet bunny pass away? Because her neighbor ripped out it's vitals.

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Q: How do you confuse a blonde? A: You tell her an anti joke

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why did the chicken cross the road? it accidentally got out of it's pen. the farmer got very mad at the chicken for getting out, and very vicous-like, yelled at the chicken, causing it to get scared, and run to the other side. and that, is why the chicken crossed the road.

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What did tarzan say when he saw 100 elephants coming over the hill? Look there's 100 elephants coming over the hill What did tarzan say when he saw 100 elephants coming over the hill with sunglasses on? Nothing he did not recognize them

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Knock knock Who's there? Derek the crazy man in the village and I have come to shoot you.

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why was the little boy sad? because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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So there were these three guys on a plane, one with a ruptured hernia, one with a stomach infection and one with a raging case of gingivitis. Half way through the flight the pilot said, "unfortunately we will not it make to our destination... we are crashing." The three men then went to get the parachutes. they then say that there was only two. the man with the ruptured hernia picked one up and threw it out the door and pushed out the guy with the stomach infection. The guy with the raging case of gingivitis said, "why did you do that... we could have used that parachute!" the man with the ruptured hernia responded, "taco." and jumped out of the plane. the pilot then goes on the intercom and says," sorry. false alarm. we will not be crashing, please enjoy the rest of your flight."

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Roses are red Violets are FUCKING VIOLET NOT FUCKING BLUE

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What types of animals are the most dangerous? Dangerous ones.

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Why did the chicken croos the road? It didnt, my father caught him and cooked him for dinner.

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Why did the man get in a car accident? Because he was blind.

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"I have a job perfromance review today!" Earl told his wife. "Good luck, I will make you a special dinner tonight," Melinda, his wife, responded.

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Why did the black guy not like oreos? because he is a very health concious person and knowes that too much of a bad thing can make you fat.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have to go to the bathroom.

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Aodhan, Kevin, Taggart and Caoimhin walk into a bar. They have drinks and then leave.

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A man walks into a bar with a monkey, I forgot the rest of the joke, but your mom's a whore.

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What is big, blue, and eats rocks? A big blue rock eater.

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Whats red and black and has 8 legs? 4 dead african babies.

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when choosing a bedtime story.... jack the rippers life stories is not a good idea... ........................................................................

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops