god made the sea god helped invent the first wheel but as you know he also made me a really big deal !

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whats black and hangs from my tree my neighbor

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With all due respect, I do underestimate myself, there is not a single person I know that has not told me that, but if I wanted to, I would not even had to make the effort to have you removed, hell I had to pull favors and owe people things in order to keep you safe. I could have said the rest of you, but had I not known you, had you not been one of my co-workers back then, I would not have gone to the extremes that i did, you are beautiful, but what does that have to do with anything? Do you think that if I did not know you I would go "that one is sexy, release her?" Even if I did, I do not have authority, I work for them.

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what is the difference between a dead baby in a bag and a dead baby hung in the yard....the dead baby hung in the yard was shot down off the cross after being rmr'd

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What's green, has 4 legs and can kill you if lands on your head? a pool table.

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What is a waste of time and money? Your mother.

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Q: What do you call a dog with metal balls and two-inch legs? A: Animatronic

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How did the newborn baby come out of a man? It was ejaculated as a sperm from his testicles

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What happened to the little boy that went to The Penn State locker room? He had a great day meeting the team and watching the football game.

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What's worse than a bug in your soup? Getting shot in the stomach.

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Hickory dickery dock, two mice ran up the clock. The clock struck 1 and the other got away with minor injuries.

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A man is sleeping and is woken up. What does he say? Why did you wake me up

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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What's long, brown, and in the toilet? The chocolate bar I just threw in the toilet.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? It's Doctor Green. I've got some bad news about your test results. Can I come in?

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Yo mama's so fat, that she died from obesity.

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Mommy, why did daddy leave? Because you touch yourself at night sweetie.

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Friends are like balloons When you stab them they die.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair... Fuzzy Wuzzy has cancer

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Why was the elf sad Because a polar bear ate his family

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what do u say when u steal something? STOLEN!!!!!!!!!

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Your mother smells so bad that if she were alive in 1919 she would most likely be outlawed in the Geneva Convention or at least banished from conventional warfare among nations that adhere to the restrictions imposed by such a document

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whats similar between a chicken and an alligator they both gobble except for they alligator

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Joe Paterno walks into a police station.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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