What did the pedophile say to the delightfully curly-headed youth? If I can't have you, I'm going to shoot you through the nails with a nail gun.

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Jennifer walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender's name was Steven. His friend's sister who was my cousin's ex wife has the same name as the girl Jennifer. That's what I heard.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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Once upon a time a guy took his pants off why because he was touching himself

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Asian son: "I'm using a calculator for my math" Asian mother: "Why not you calculatnow!"

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What did the apple say to the Banana? ....Nothing... fruit don't talk

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What do you call an elephant and a rhino mixed? Ahellifiknow.

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What's the difference between an apple and a baby. An apple is a fruit. A baby is a human being.

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A frog walks up to Steve, and says "Hey, Steve." Steve is terrified because a frog knows his name, and is walking.

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What's worse than losing the remote? A steamroller going backwards on the highway.

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NO ONE LIKES YOU!!!!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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What is big, grey, has 8 wheels, can fly, swim and walk. I dunno. Thats why I'm asking

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Whats the difference between Rolf Harris and a pedophile Whoops I didn't quite think this one through

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Rubies are red Some diamonds are blue I have candy so get in my car

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The child was fired from his job.

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Knock knock? Who's there? You have cancer.

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Your mama so fat that when she cut herself gravey came out and we drank it too!

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Q: what's wrong with this sentence? My dogs is running in the garden A: I don't have a garden

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What did the shit covered people licking each others scrotums call themselves? The Aristocrats

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

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What did Grandma Sally give Little Timmy for Christmas? Herpes

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your moma is sao fat that she is gay . nope im sorry thats just mean.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pickles.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops