You were born.

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a rabbi and a priest walk into a wall

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An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have some pints then leave to do their respective tasks for the day.

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Knock knock! Just kidding.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "Yeah, but you make a really great sandwich!"

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What would u like to drink?

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Where did little susie go during the explosion? Everywhere :) What color were her eyes? Blue. One blew this way and one blew the other way. :p Knock, knock Who's there? Not susie :)

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A dog was driving his car down the road right? Wrong dogs can't drive cars

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How do you make a twelve year old girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear.

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What did the man say after being hit by a bus? Nothing he is now dead.

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Why couldn't Johnny drive? Because he had no arms or legs. Why didn't he have any arms or legs? Because Johnny was a potato.

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Whats the difference between a red cup and a blue cup. Ones red and the other is blue.

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roses are blue violets are red heres a gun now your dead

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Whats worse than 4 dead babies in a bucket? finding an actual joke on Anti Joke.

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How much is that doggy in the window? It's not for sale....it's waiting to be euthanized.

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Why did the blonde do at the WTC on 9/11? Die.

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Q.How many babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb A.Babies are to young to screw in lightbulbs

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How do you kill a blonde? By irreparably damaging a major organ. The same way you kill anything else.

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Is everything funnier when u have a vagina.

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What happens when you drop a glass of milk? It hits the ground and breaks, depending on what material the glass is made of, acrylic glass or plastic, and the softness of the floor you drop it on,

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have u been drinking cannabel soup because you........ahhhhh!!!!! why are you trying to eat me!

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Billy was taking a stroll in the forest, when suddenly he met a bear. Billy remember what his father had taught him, and quikly lied down on the ground, pretending to be dead. The bear started licking Billy's face. Still he remained calm. The bear bit off Billys finger. Still he did not move. When the bear ate Billy's foot, he nearly panicked. But thinking of his wife and children he mustered his last remaining strenght, and did not move a muscle. If he tried to run or fight the bear he would surely die and never see them again. Then the bear ate Billys head.

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It's red or yellow but most likely grey, and when its hit your eye you are dead? A train :)

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What do you say to a homeless man sat in a train station? That there is a homeless shelter around the corner.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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