Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducks, as he saw the first two men previously walking into it, and it looks like it rather hurt.

What do you call a purple apple? Bruised.

What did the over confident jack-ass say to the hot girl, You'll do.

whats funnier than womens rights? ottos weight

A unicorn, a smart blonde, a dragon, and a hobo are in a maze who gets out first? The hobo. The other 3 don't exist. By Adam Chebali

Q: What's worse than ten babies stapled to one tree? A: One baby stapled to ten trees.

Why did the little girl fall to death? Because pigs can't fly. It's impossible.

What is life? Paul.

What do u call a white hourse with no ass Penelope

Knock knock Who's there Fookie Fookie Who? Fook you too

What's worse than a black guy? Two black guys....and a dead white man.

I named my son ps2 controller

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

why did the mexican steal the money? because he was financially struggling and needed the money to support his family

When life gives you lemons you squirt them in someones eyes and steal what life gave them.

It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Green paint.

Why did the asian man crash? He fell asleep after a long 18 hour day of driving, plus he was listening to soothing soul music.

What did the apple tree say to the farmer? "Stop picking on me"

Why scooby-doo likes cookies? Because he's chub!

Why did Muhammad pray to Jesus? Because he has low self esteem and didn't believe in himself.

Sometimes I wonder; why is that frisbee getting closer? Then it hits me. Someone just threw a frisbee at me.

Teacher: Why didn't you do your homework? Student: My friends told me not to. Teacher: So if your friends tell you to go jump off a bridge, would you do it? Student: Well, it all depends on if I land on a fat kid. Like Chubb. Chubb: Yeah, I know, my eating habit, i-i-its a big problem. -Payden R.

2 pilots rowed a boat across the desert. How long did it take to reach the moon? Answer: Purple because chickens don't use magic.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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