What did the spider say to the lobster? Nothing, they are enemies and don't live in the same habitat.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He got hit by a car.

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What did the black man get for christmas? A present.

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Yo mama is so fat she could be a plus size model because she's big and hot.

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How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? None, you don't have to be jewish to change a light bulb

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a house? A: babies lack the intelligence and motor skills to accomplish such a task so it is not practical to hire them for a painting job.

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What is the similarity between fake rings and your mother? They change colors in the shower

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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What is white and can't climb trees? Powdered sugar.

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What is a pedophile's favorite thing about twenty-six year olds? There are 20 of them.

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What do you give hobos? Febreeze

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Why was the girl sad? Because borat came had DA SEXI TIME with yo mother in law:)

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How does Helen Keller play the piano? With one hand.. She needs the other hand to sing.

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Q.what do you call a dead baby? A. a dead baby

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Why would you call a child douche bag? Cause they're sterile

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Why was the white man's girlfriend a whore? Because she engaged in sexual relations with a multitude of other men.

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Terraria

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Why did the black man get pulled over by a cop? He was driving 12 miles over the speed limit.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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How did the man kill the black fly? He called the KKK fly and had it lynch the black fly

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red Paint

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What do you call a guy with an axe in his head? Chuck

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Why did they serve Swiss cheese at the church? It was lunchtime.

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Why did humpty dumpty fall off a wall? Well it turns out that he was a raging psycopath. to add on, he was also a suicidal

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops