roses are blue violets red im color blind vatalk is gay

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A panhandler came up to me today and said he hadn't had a bite in weeks, so I gave him some change.

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I love you! Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Squirrels are rabbid Yes mi this is a haiku!!!! I know ur reading this so grape grape grape

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It probably saw an animal that it wanted to chase, or a person carrying food, or another dog that it wanted to make friends with.

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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb? It would probably be the court janitor who was responsible for that job, rather than the lawyers.

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A group of cows boarded a spaceship and was launched into orbit around the Earth. It was the herd shot around the world.

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What do you get when you cross a dead monkey, a chair fitted with wheels for use as a means of transport by a person, Isaac Newton & the creator of the website? Stephen Hawking.

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A Jew, a Russian, and a Turk walk into a bar. The Jew asks, "Can I get a glass of Manischewitz?" The bartender serves him. The Russian asks, "Can I get a shot of vodka?" The bartender serves him. The Turk then asks, "Can I get a Turkish coffee?" The bartender looks at him, confused, and says, "Sorry, but this is a bar. Unfortunately we don't serve coffee."

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Chuck Norris' beard takes 1st 2nd and 3rd in the most impressive beard catagory. He was the only contestant.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He actually planned to visit his family on the other side, but unfortunately he did not look both ways so was involved in a terrible car accident. His family now mourns their loss.

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What did one chick in a clothes shop say to another? That's cheap

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A horse walks into a bar. Just kidding, it's a panda.

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your mama so old, shes dead.

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Knock-Knock Who's there? The The Who? The Beatles!

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Who is JP? A really smart kid! HAHA jk

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What's purple and glows? An electric grape

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why did the boy laugh? cause he was reading this joke!

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What nickname do you give Harrison Kinney if he is good at remixing music? Harrison "Remix" Kinney

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What happens if you an 3ft size olive, a glob of red paint and rainbow colored glue on a table and rub your arm in it? You get olive, red paint and glue on your arm.

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Why was Timmy strong? Because his dad injected steroids through his asshole.

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What's green, three feet tall, and can live forever? Definitely not Julie Andrews.

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Yo mommas so dumb she took an IQ test and scored low on it

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Q: Why did the boy have a bloody nose? A: Because a serial killer split his head in half with an axe.

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What has 8 legs and 1 eye? 2 chairs and half a fish.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops