What happened to the homeless guy when a woman gave him five dollars? He shot the woman because he is mentally retarded.

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Teacher: "Kenny, what is the biggest mammal on land?" Kenny: "A stranded whale."

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So a man walks into a bar... ouch

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How do you piss off a jew slash his tires

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Whats as Heavy as a rock and also as light as a feather? Any object in space because the lack of gravity to give the object weight.

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hi michael

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What is a vampire's favorite desert? Assuming they are real I dont think they would enjoy it in the daylight, so really there's no point.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? A Banana. The middle aged man opened the door, prepared to distribute candy to the trick or treaters.

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Yo' Mommas so poor, She has to ask close family friends and relatives for money so she can feed you.

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Q: What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? A: He died on Christmas Day, before his parents could tell him they had maxed out their credit cards to take him to Disney World. His father has since relapsed into alcoholism. He knows his wife is cheating on him with another man, but understands that she needs comfort that he cannot give her.

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Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

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Q: What Did Batman Say To Robin Before He Got In The Car? A: Get In The Car

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Orange ya glad i didn't say banana

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What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

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what happend when 3 white guys and 3 black guys try out for a basketball team? They all made it because you need 5 people on the team and it is good to have an extra person on the team in case some one gets hurt, fouled out, late for the game or dies.

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Q: What do you call a gay dinosaur? A: Mega-saur-ass

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What's more traumatising than watching your dad raping a man? Watching a man raping your dad.

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Pretend you are in a box and there is no way out. How do you get out? You don't

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Why was the chipmunk watching TV? Because a new Family Guy was on.

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Why didn't the Ginger love the pretty girl? Her attitude and personality weren't very similar to his so he presumed the relationship wouldn't work out. Uh...........stingray.

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horses are burgers now ive got the flu watch out tescos because im gonna sue

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Why did the cat die? To get to the other side

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So, a man walks into a bar. Suddenly, the universe around him cracks, unable to sustain the weight of infinite potential punchlines. He tumbles through an empty void amongst shards of his broken reality.

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Q: How do you kill a goblin if the fries are next to the sushi? A: Yes. Walruses have nostrils and rubber chickens don't like microwaves!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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