Why did the Chicken cross the road? So it would not get hit

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What did the fruit say when it was about to be sliced in half? Nothing, fruits cannot talk, duh.

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Q: Whats the difference between a table and a Mexican? A: You tell me.

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One day, I was talking to a lamp on the phone, when I realized I had called the wrong lamp.

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What did the boy get for christmas? a new lining

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have alzheimers. Cheese on toast.

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What is big green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree A pool table

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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How often do you remember a dream? Well what if I told you that this is a dream go ahead pinch your arm. You probably didn't feel pain. And just incase jump out a fifth story window. Come on do it. Now if you are still reading this you are either dreaming or didn't jump out the window. Shame on you!!!!!!

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What can't catch or throw? A Quadriplegic

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roses are read, violets are blue. i have alzheimers and Jill came tumbling down.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had a gun.

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penisvaginaorgasm

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Ring around the rosy. A pocket full of posies. Ashes. Ashes. I just set a dead baby on fire.

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Roses are Red Violets are Red Grass is Red Trees are Red My yard is on fire.

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A man walks into a bar so how many Jews were there when a man called Wellard ate a pizza. Balloons

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What do you do if you walk in on your wife atempting to hang herself in the living room? Ask her to leave the living room, as it would be ironic.

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What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff? It was my car.

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Roses are black Violets are black I lost my eyesight at two years old and all I see is black.

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Q. If you have 4 pencils and I have 7 apples, how many pancakes can we fit on the roof? A. Purple because aliens don't wear hats.

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Its true, he didnt write that!!

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What do you call a lubia chin jew slave? Kia

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What's worse than biting into an apple with a worm in it? Getting brutally raped by a giant transvestite donkey witch.

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How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops