Whats green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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A horse walks into a bar, but is kicked out because animals are not allowed in that bar.

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Women's rights

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…What did you put in the drink that made me fart, and kill my horse?

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What gets wetter as it dries? Sarah Jessica Parker

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Why did the gay man's ass hurt? He has rectal cancer.

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I never drink liquor alone... except for when I'm alone.

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My arms get tired from carrying my big diick everywhere, well at least it's better than dragging it

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FORTY SECONDS!!!!!!

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Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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A girl talks to here boyfriend about collage. What is his responce? Nothing. No one talks about college.

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What did the hose say to the sprinkler? I'm gonna squirt you.

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Why did the boy trip over the garden gnome? He didn't trip. He died of a burst artery.

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What do you call a gay dinosaur? Megasoreass What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Lickalottapuss What dou you call a gay dinosaurs dog? Megasoreass Rex

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What's worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice.

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Why did Li Chong get an A on his math test? He studied.

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Roses are red. They also have thorns. Their family is Rosaceae and they are often given as gifts between lovers. They grow in well drained and fertile soils...

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whats long and black on a black guy slavery

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What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

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What's brown, sticky, green, yellow, and orange that rides a unicycle? I have no clue, that's why I asked.

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Why did Suzy cross the road? She didn't she got hit by a bus. Knock, knock! Who's there? Not Suzy!

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What did the man say when an pterodactyl flew into the kitchen while he was having breakfast? Huh, that's strange.

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An incoming freshman introduces himself to his Ethics professor by saying, "What's up?" To which the professor responds, "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The freshman, who is both clever and witty, quickly responds to his future Professor, saying: "Professor, I practice linguistic description, such that I observe language objectively in a way that does not adhere strictly to grammatical and syntactic dogma". The professor, surprised by the student's philosophical disposition, engages the student in a highly constructive dialogue about the philosophy of language, from which both the student and teacher learn more about each other and themselves.

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What do you call a dog with no arms and no legs? Nothing, it cant come

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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