whats the difference between 69 and 6.9 theres a period in the middle

How did the clown get the baby to stop crying? He hit it with an axe.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gay guys house Knock Knock Who's there? The chicken

How do you find out the population of Mexico? The census.

Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

why did the homeless man die? because everyone does.

How can humans fly? Well if you run and jump of a cliff...nevermind you would just smash your face on the ground. I guess that isn't technically flying.

There were three men walking across the road and it started to rain

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey.

Whats worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm? Having a Hippo give you head.

Person 1: Hey how's your day? Person 2: Good Person 1: Cool

Panda walks into a restaurant with gun ready to eat, shoot and leave to finish a really good grammar joke, but before he can eat, Animal Control tranquilize him and seize his gun. So all he can do is leave unconscious. Meanwhile someone takes enjoyment in slowly burning the dictionary entry for "Panda".

Why did the boy miss the toilet when he was peeing? Cause he was in the shower.

How do you wake up a black man? You stab him in the thigh.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are not very intelligent and was scared by a shadow. The chicken's survival instincts caused it to cross the road, away from the shadow. The chicken crossed the road safely, and is now happily pecking at worms.

whats funny? when isreal special forces hunted down nazis after ww2 and killed the fucks

Two penguins in a bath tub, one says "Pass me the soap" and the other one says "What do you think I am, a radio!"

What do you do when life gives you lemons? Kindly reject the offer and give it back to life.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other... Uh oh. A car just ran it over.

The good part of "Age" of Ultron? THANOS REIGNS! Disagree? Just leave the green thumb and fuck off!

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have ADD Hey look, a squirrel!!

Roses are blue, Violets are red, I have to go to the bathroom now...

What does the man do to his meat? He beats it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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