A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor performs the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the Johhny say to the black man when he saw him buying a watermelon? Nothing, Johnny is mute.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

There were 3 men on a rough each granted one wish to make. The first guy sees a bird and runs and jumps off the ledge and wishes to be a bird and he flies away. The second guy sees a butterfly so he too runs and jumps off the ledge and wishes to be a butterfly and flies away. The third guy telling himself those were all stupid wishes, makes up his mind what he is going to wish for so he runs to the ledge and just after he says "I wish to be" he trips on the ledge and says, "shit!" So his wish was granted and shit he became. The End.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

ewrg

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A squirrel walks up to a tree and says "I forgot to store my nuts for winter now I am dead". Ha! It's funny because the squirrel gets dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Elvis presley was taking a poop and couldnt poop cause he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

knock knock Who's there Rick Rick who Your wife's boss she got into an on the job accident and will never walk again... I'm sorry but your insurance doesn't cover the injury.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Want to hear a joke? Too bad.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did one liar say to the other liar? I'm very honest.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

a farmer asked me "were is my pig?" and I said ' I got hungry" :()

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why couldn't the fireman get over the hill? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the man say before he died? I am going to die.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats worse than driving a Ford Taurus? Driving two Ford Taurus'

thumb_up thumb_down +8

If you were on an island with one wish what would you wish for? To get off the island

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I was eating a sandwich when someone came up to me and said "sharing is caring" So I gave him a grenade He asked "where's the pin" I said " I pulled it for you" This is not an anti joke

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What does Yoko Ono say while rehearsing her song before a concert? She gives directions to the band.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are red,Violets are blue, Who the hell are you,Get the hell away

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Did you know Helen Keller had a swingset? Neither did she.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why dose my mom have a penis? She is a man

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what is worse than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 11 dead babies in a trash can

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for some water. The bartender replies: "Sorry, we don't have any." The man responds: "Sorry, I'm drunk." He walks out.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A woman walks in a confessional booth and proceeds to tell the priest about how she killed and ate her baby in a fit of hysteria because she is having issues dealing with her fresh divorce. The priest does not call 911.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the bartender refuse to let the black man in ? Because the bar was about to close.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the business man jump into a mud puddle? He didn't. He was brutally stabbed to death then thrown in a pigpen in an attempt to conceal the evidence.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops