why did the irishman leave the bar he had to go to his sons birthday party

What did the baby get for his birthday? An Abortion.

What did the nerd say to the cheerleader? Wouldn't you like to know? Mind your own business.

What do you call it, when a jew makes fun of a black guy? Racism.

What did Voldermort say to harry potter? i raped you mum last night!

How do you make an electrician cry? Kill his family.

When life gives you a hamburger, you know you're at Mr. Life's Hamburger Stand on 8th Avenue.

Why did the President fall down? He was assassinated. -mattobrado

Yo momma so ugly..... what more do you want

Knock knock. Who's there? The bailiffs, we have come to take your house

why did the man beat his wife? why not?

What day is it today? Today. Thank you. You're welcome.

What did the man with no head say to the women?

Whats brown and rhyme's with "Snoop?" Dr. Dre

What do baseball and The Holocaust have in common? They're both sports, except for the The Holocaust.

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead. Q2: Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A2: It was nailed to the first one. Q3: Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A3: Peer pressure.

A white guy, a black guy, and an asian guy jump off a bridge. Who hits the ground first? It doesn't matter. They are all going to die.

For every person with a broken heart, there is another person out there with a stapler <3 And that person really needs to staple their math papers together so they can turn them in.

A doctor walks out of the delivery room, he then relieves a nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with more information. Your wife died during the delivery.

Matrix if it had been with (as planned at some stage) with Will Smith. Normal Neo: Yes trinity lets find the others. Smith Neo: Yo pretty lady, lets go find them ho`s and chicken and stuff, then we can like go surfin and driving nuts and all that crackin stuff and then we etc etc. Normal Neo:... Smith Neo: You tellin ME this is your world Smith? Im Anderson yo and the one, Im gonna bitchmack you all and then just whoop you all with my master blaster no kidding buddy I have yellow belt Kung fu yo! Neo: We have to do something. Smith Neo; Yo unless we make a real rap video first we cant do the proper stuff you, why is this place all so green, get some colaaas! Seriously first we get carlton and then he dances his crazy dance while I go boyAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZ with my rap ok?

Chuck Norris has appeared in several action films.

Whats Green and Smells Like Grass? Grass

A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

What's the difference between Barney the dinosaur and Santa? Barney Loves you.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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