oh, you have a baby on board? I'll just drive into the the car next to you...

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One of my nipples is a different colour from the other two. Is this normal? The Doctor replied with the answer no and said you have cancer

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Your family tree is like a cactus, its full of pricks. ;P

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How do you make Yoda sad? Kill all of his friends.

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"Have you heard the one about the trannie?" "No, what is it?" "Wow, that's offensive." -Juanita

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Hi

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What is the biggest lie of 2011? "I do"- Kim kardashian

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Q. what did the hobo say to the rich guy A. nothing the hobo wa a mute

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Why did the plane crash? Because he pilot was a loaf of bread

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Wow Nero, you never explained the process, its like I am at the ocean again, but dont lie, you still fear showers... Sorry its just not you when you lie to me, I know I should be more concerned about you, ill bring those old stuff, im tired, sleepy, I suppose thats your work huh Nero? Thanks, call it as a brother or what you want, but I really love you and wont ever stop doing so. Goodnight Nerochan, promise me you will take care of yourself, we all got a long life ahead of us, and I want to spend more time with you, if its fine for you and your wife.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? The Holocaust.

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when the zombie apocolypse comes what do you do? you die

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My dad

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Why don't aliens eat clowns? Because they taste funny.

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Whats the difference between garlic bread and a Jewish person? Garlic bread doesn't scream in the oven.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? three-thirty.

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An American, a Mexican and a Cuban are in a car. For they are heading to the store to buy groceries and then come home to make dinner.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, why the long face. The horse replies, neigh.

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How do you stop a dog from barking? Cut it's head off

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All your facts check out, so I sent a little search team to find someone selling us out, it turns that they are after the leader of "The order" and "The king`s throne", so unless you got some small sub-department going on, point zero is in danger, ill explain everything once this is over.

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My girlfriend says i cant finish a sentence properly dripping horse cum fetus rape.

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yo mamma's so retarded that shes a potato

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The bartender says "We don't serve time travellers here". Two time travellers walk into a bar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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