Q: how do u make a fireman cry? A: set his wife on fire

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Why did the man have square fingers? Because he has Apert Syndrome

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Three blondes walk into a bar. They have an intellectual conversation over some drinks.

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What's the difference between jokes and anti-jokes? Anti-jokes aren't funny.

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i Have read and agreed to the terms of service

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You know what makes me smile? Face muscles.

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what has wheels and drives? a boat i lied about the wheels

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What did the woman find when she got home from the post office? Her son's corpse hanging from a clothes hanger. She was an abusive mom, and he killed himself.

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Why was the blonde on the train tracks? Because she was tied up by a madman on crack.

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Have you heard about the hipster paleontologist? He liked dinosaurs better when they were underground.

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my grandpa told me "dont let fear rule your life" 2 hours later he got hit by a train.

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What red, white, and blue? A white person who was raped by a clown.

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Why did the clown want a new bike? Don't ask me, clowns are allowed to want things too

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Why did the Triceratops walk into a grocery store? To buy groceries

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Rick Ross is so fat, that he is fatter than someone who isn't as fat as he is.

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Knock, knock. Now before I asked "Who's there" I first opened the door as then I can see who's there without having to ask them through the door.

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Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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A guy walks into a bar. He meets a girl and they have a great time. He calls her the next day and their relationship continues for many months. Eventually they get married and have children.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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What did the tractor say to the farmer? Nothing, tractors don't talk

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You smell just like a black person. With your nose.

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What do you get when you combine lemons, sugar and water? Lemons, sugar, and water

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie roll pop? It would have to take a reasonable amount of licks for enough enzymes in the saliva to breakdown the hard candy part.

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What do you call a half-Latino, half-Asian baby? The product of a healthy interracial couple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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