A woman who lived alone with her parrot left her apartment to run to the store, forgetting that a plumber was scheduled to come and fix her sink. A few minutes later, the plumber arrived and knocked on the door. The parrot inside called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replied, "it's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink." The plumber waited for a bit and, seeing that nobody was coming to the door, knocked again. The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replied, a little more loudly, "it's the plumber! I've come to fix the sink!" Again the plumber waited. After a few more minutes, he knocked again. The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber yelled, as loudly as he could, "IT'S THE PLUMBER! I'VE COME TO FIX THE SINK!" Still, nobody came to the door. The plumber banged the door repeatedly, The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber screamed "IT'S...THE...PLUMBER!!! I'VE...COME...TO...FIX...THE...SIIIIIIINK!!!" and then, consumed with rage, clutched his chest and fell over dead from a stress-induced heart attack. A few minutes later, the woman returned home and, while opening her door, noticed the plumber lying dead in her hallway. She looked at her parrot and asked, "Who is it?" The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it was hit by a bus.

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what do you call cheese that isn't yours? not your cheese, you probably stole it.

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What do you call Rosa Parks? One bitchy negro. Just kidding she was a visionary for human rights, now you can't dislike this cause you'll be saying that Rosa Parks wasn't a visionary, take that blacks.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimers Who the hell are you?

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why was the albino black crying? because all babies cry you racist

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Did you hear the one about the girl who had three nipples? Neither did I.

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If you could eliminate one thing in your life, what would it be ? My ex.

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What's black, white and red all over? A dead panda

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What do you call a woman who loves sex and food? A fat whore.

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Why did one sausage become scared of the other sausage? The first Sausage said " Hello " and the second Sausage said " OMG a talking sausage!!!" ...Jk sausages dont talk.

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What did it say on the banner for an international dyslexics support group? Dyslexics of the world unite.

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once i was a dog and u were a flower........... i raised my leg and gave u a shower :)

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, the holocaust didn't actually happen, besides I hate jews

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roses are red violets are blue ill keep u in my heart forever and ower baby to

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I hate Jews The Holocaust

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Why did Chuck Norris eat a sandwich? Because he was hungry.

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Why did the English man walk into a bar? Do get an alcoholic beverage to temporarily forget the pain of his recent divorce.

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Why was the man alone? Because he was tied to a tree.

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Why did the Muslim man get on a plane? Because he was going on vacation

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What is Hellen Keller's favorite TV show? She doesn't have one - She is blind and deaf.

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The rabbit owns a small business and has trouble getting a loan.

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Who's blind but can see, deaf but can hear, and dumb yet can solve the most complex mathematical equations? Helen Keller-Norris

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roses are red violet are blue what are you gonna do when chuck norris find you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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