What's worse than a dead baby? Two dead babies. What's worse than that? Two dead babies nailed to a tree. What's worse than that? Two dead trees naild to a baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: How do you give a frigid woman an orgasm? A: By making her come.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to its dying chicks who were just run over.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A woman who lived alone with her parrot left her apartment to run to the store, forgetting that a plumber was scheduled to come and fix her sink. A few minutes later, the plumber arrived and knocked on the door. The parrot inside called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replied, "it's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink." The plumber waited for a bit and, seeing that nobody was coming to the door, knocked again. The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replied, a little more loudly, "it's the plumber! I've come to fix the sink!" Again the plumber waited. After a few more minutes, he knocked again. The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber yelled, as loudly as he could, "IT'S THE PLUMBER! I'VE COME TO FIX THE SINK!" Still, nobody came to the door. The plumber banged the door repeatedly, The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber screamed "IT'S...THE...PLUMBER!!! I'VE...COME...TO...FIX...THE...SIIIIIIINK!!!" and then, consumed with rage, clutched his chest and fell over dead from a stress-induced heart attack. A few minutes later, the woman returned home and, while opening her door, noticed the plumber lying dead in her hallway. She looked at her parrot and asked, "Who is it?" The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?"

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the blind and deaf kid get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a bunch of black people buried up to their hair? Afro turf

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown, sued the water company, bought a huge settlement and ran off with that slut Little Bo Peep.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's black, white & red all over? A cow in a slaughter house.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Ask me what my name is. What's your name. My name is Jeff.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's one plus one? 2. Two legit, two legit to quit, hey, hey... What's one plus two? 3. Easy as abc, 123, abc, baby you and me. What's one plus three? 4. hes a jolly good fellow, for he's a jolly good fellow.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why didn't the man walk up the stairs? He had an acorn stairlift.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did one sausage become scared of the other sausage? The first Sausage said " Hello " and the second Sausage said " OMG a talking sausage!!!" ...Jk sausages dont talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimers Who the hell are you?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

why was the albino black crying? because all babies cry you racist

thumb_up thumb_down -10

I hate Jews The Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did it say on the banner for an international dyslexics support group? Dyslexics of the world unite.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a woman who loves sex and food? A fat whore.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did Chuck Norris eat a sandwich? Because he was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

once i was a dog and u were a flower........... i raised my leg and gave u a shower :)

thumb_up thumb_down -10

what do you call cheese that isn't yours? not your cheese, you probably stole it.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call Rosa Parks? One bitchy negro. Just kidding she was a visionary for human rights, now you can't dislike this cause you'll be saying that Rosa Parks wasn't a visionary, take that blacks.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What is Hellen Keller's favorite TV show? She doesn't have one - She is blind and deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

roses are red violets are blue ill keep u in my heart forever and ower baby to

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops