What goes in your mouth long and hard, and comes out soft and sticky? A stick of bubblegum.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? Because ever since 3 died, 7 had changed. He had turned aggressive and randomly snapped and hit out at some of the other numbers for no apparent reason.

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Did you see Helen Keller's doll house? No... Well it's really nice!

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What do you call a red ballon? It depends on its color duh!

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Why did the monk shave his head? So he's more aerodynamic.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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What's worse than a broken leg? Two broken legs

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Why do we learn about the Civil Rights Movement in History class? So it won't happen again.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog.

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what is green and has wheels grass i lied about the wheels

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive a train? Because she was blind, deaf, and most likely uneducated in the field of train conduction.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a cucumber? You can't gas a cucumber.

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Q: What is scarier than the boogie man? A: Herpes

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A fat guy!

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What is better than tissues? Correct!

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Person 1: I need an adult.... Person 2: I am an adult. Person 1: I need another adult... Person 2: My friend's an adult too. Person 1: I need a third adult Person 2: GOD UR NEEDY!

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What do you get when you cross a Minotaur with a snowman? A cold mythological creature.

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Her hair was fine, her scent was great, now show me your fucking ****.......please

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What did the strawberry say to the grape? Nothing, inanimate objects can't use verbal communication.

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when life throws you lemons you should probably get out of the way because it will hurt

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Why did the woman go in a elevator with Ray Rice? Because they were both going to the 25th floor and stairs would take too long.

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A Blonde walks into a bar. She is in an abusive relationship and drinking her pain away.

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why did the mexican work for a lawn care service I don't know why don't you ask him

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what's worse than a dead baby in the bathtub? if the baby was named Grace.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops