What do you call a red ballon? It depends on its color duh!

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What goes in your mouth long and hard, and comes out soft and sticky? A stick of bubblegum.

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Bill goes and buys 45 watermelons, what does he have? 45 watermelons.

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Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says "I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here."

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run farther?

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What do you get when do you put a baby in a blender? A life sentence.

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why shouldnt you throw a rock at a black person on a bike? Its probably your bike.

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What did Hitler say to Mussolini? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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Rose are Red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers The middle one is for you.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? Because ever since 3 died, 7 had changed. He had turned aggressive and randomly snapped and hit out at some of the other numbers for no apparent reason.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Me, get naked bitch!

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Did you see Helen Keller's doll house? No... Well it's really nice!

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Why is Michael Jackson bad at chess ? Because he is dead.

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Your mother is so fat, she is dying due to obesity and it would be utterly disgusting to make fun of anyone in that situation.

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What did the penis say to the vagina? Cover me, im going in.

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Why are Asians yellow? Because that is their natural skin color

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But there's a sound Dumbledore knows... What does the Fawkes say?

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Why did the monk shave his head? So he's more aerodynamic.

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What's worse than a broken leg? Two broken legs

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? An orange parrot.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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Why was the prostitute unsuccessful? because she had no vagina

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops