Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Ed has spent all his days on the farm. It was the farm of his father and grandfather before him; long have they prospered from the fruits of this land. He has a wife and 3 beautiful children, all of whom live happily on the farm. Ed still manages to keep an active social life, and has lots of interesting friends. His best friend is Moe. As a young man, Ed had spent a few years living in the city for his studies. Moe lives in the city, and he knows Ed from College. One day, Moe came out to the farm to have lunch with his old friend. After lunch, he and Ed took a walk around the farm. They passed by the horses, the chickens, the pigs and finally they came to the cows. Ed looked at Moe, and he saw that he was focused intently on a single cow. "What's the matter, Moe?" he asked. "That," Moe said, "is one skinny cow."

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What is better than winning a gold medal at the special olympics? Not being retarded

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What is it about homosexuals that's so gay? What is it about heterosexuals that's so straight? What is it about an apple that's so gay?(Because it's a FRUIT right?) What is it about penises that's so straight?

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Once soon a time there was a boy named steven. He dropped his ice cream because... You know the rest

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Huh? Whats wrong? Why are you mad at me for? Its my name, it has always been so.

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How do you make a black plumber cry? - kill his whole family

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Chuck Norris never shows emotion!!!... because he is a pragmatic person and thinks in a more logical manner.

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Q: You know what's worse than being a mother? A: Almost everything, because being a mother is not a bad thing, in fact, it's a wonderful thing.

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What did the dog get for Christmas? euthanization

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Why did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? Because you touch yourself at night

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Why did the boy eat the worm? Because his parents were starving him, and it was all he had.

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how do you kill chuck norris? you dont, killing is illegal

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What's worse then ten dead babies in a barrel? The one at the bottom is still alive.

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Roses are red, Violets are too. I'm colour blind, It's a very depressing infliction.

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Your momma so stupid, she speaks poorly and can't spell very well.

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? He needed money to feed his family and to pay for his daughter's college education.

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Why did Sally fall of the swing set? Because she got hit with a mattress

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what do you call a black guy falling down a hill? A hiker with an inconveniance you racist son of a bitch

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Yo mama is so stupid that see should really be concerned with furthering her education in a four-year university

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DON'T TOUCH MY DUCK, IT HAS A ONE DOLLAR BILL

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Q:Why did the black man fall down? A: he got hit in the face by a refrigerator

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What's gay black & Jewish? The Ku Klux Klan

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What's ripe and orange? A ripe orange.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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