roses r red violets r blue u jumped in the air and saw a planet to

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What is the key to a good anti-joke? A disappointing or intellectual punch-line said in a calm and passive tone.

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How do you kill a deer? You don't, you just let it be because that's what a decent human being would do.

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Have you heard the one about the fat woman and the dead baby? The woman was actually pregnant, not fat, and just had a miscarriage.

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What's worse than seeing your grandfather dead on the floor? Seeing your grandmother standing over him with a knife

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What was the strangest part about meeting a girl called Suzie? She had arms.

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What's funnier A Ginger or a fat kid A fat ass ginger

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What is big, long, hot, and firm? An erection due to the arousal of a woman's sex appeal.

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WTF THINKING: "If you are going trough hell go back to where the path to hell began just get the fuck out of there you stupid dumbass muddaf0cker" "If you feel life is pushing you five steps back for each one you go forward, just turn your fucking back to your goal and you will get there in no time" "Never ever ever ever ever give up" -Fucking inspiring when you just give up after a certain number of "evers" "IT IS BETTER TO REIGN IN HEAVEN THAN TO SERVE IN HEAVEN!" "I forgot the rest" Nero the ONLY moralman (Fuck Neronism and they copying my shit, I am the only psychopath animal theRAPIST in town! (Female animals only, you think I am a pervert or something? Be ashamed you perverted deviant!)

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What's the difference between a ferrari and a penis? I don't have a stash of ferraris in my garage.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because aliens dont wear purple hats.

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One kisses says: I have had 3 bottles of water today and I haven't peed yet. His friend says: O you probably have a urinary track infection.

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What do you call a German who roasts Jews for a living? A comedian.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? "We are both lawyers."

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Your momma's so fat that she contracted type 2 diabetes and died at a young age because obesity is a huge problem in America.

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As we had been trying for some months now, I called my wife to ask her the result of her pregnancy test. A stranger answered and promptly told me she was killed in a car crash.

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Jose gutierrez is a gay fish.

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Women's rights

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What do you call a Muslim guy on a plane? A passenger.

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Why is there an owl out during the day? I don't know.

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There's a elf ,a peice of paper, and a pencil. What happens next? The elf writes on the paper.

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what is green and has weels? grass i was kidding about the weels.

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Why was Helen Keller deaf, blind, and a woman? She was a bad driver.

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What's black and white and red all over? The dead kitten on the road.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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