Why did Lucy drop her ice-cream ? Because she got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who is there ? NOT LUCY !

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If I had a nickel for everyday I lived...... I would get a nickel a day

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why can't you hear a pterodactyl pee? Because the "p" is silent

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How many trees does it take to screw in a light bulb? Trees are incapable of screwing light bulbs

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What do you get when you cross a black man and a Mexican man? I don't know.

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In this country, you gotta get the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, you get shot the F*** up at the end of Scarface.

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A man walks into a bar. Three weeks later he gets a liver transplant.

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So this squirrel is walking across the road when a HUGE truck comes and smashes him beneath the tire.

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Why was the penguin popular? He cuts himself.

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Why did the baby boy start crying? He got hit with a toaster

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Your mother is overweight. This is largely due to her sedentary lifestyle.

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Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

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Q: What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferari? A: I don't have a ferari in my garage.

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So, Helen Keller walked into a bar....and then a stool, and then a counter, and then a table....

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Why did the Chicken Cross the Road? The Light was red.

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Last week, one of my ex girlfriends called me. She said she had to tell me some bad news. "I don't know how to tell you this but I have AIDS. I really didn't know how to reply to that so I said the only thing I could say. "Yeah, I know."

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Why did Poppy lose at sports day? Because she had a heart attack and died.

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One night, a man was bitten by Dracula. The first thing to come out of his mouth was "Joke's on you, I have AIDS!" Then proceeded to laugh hysterically until Dracula snapped his neck

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Yo momma's so hairy when you were born you almost died from rug burn.

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Do you wanna build a snowman ? No.

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What do you call a chicken who eats chicken. Cannibal

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What's wrong with a black man in a bar? Nothing, Except the fact that he is an alcoholic, and will probably beat his wife after drinking.

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his access to goods and services and his future options from birth.

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Why was the boy sad? He was harassed by his mum who died in the 1800's and went into a depressive state in which he drove himself to death using a pair of pliers and a rechargeable battery. No, he really just stubbed his toe.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops