Q: What say one therapist to a friend? A: I'm the rapist

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Why did George shaw fall off the swin?. Because he got a bowl thrown at his head

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In soviet russia, child molests you! Unfortunately true

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot

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There was an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman. Now there's millions of them. And women too.

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I tried to play soccer a long time ago. I didn't score and managed to get red card... Then I realized it was not my thing

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Thanks, I admire your sincerity, and I am happy to see that I got a lot more in common with you, than with well, my nerdy and geeky friends, which are not reading this here and now unless they are going against their orders and messing up their own work schedule. I just want you to know that I have fallen in love with you Nero, and if that is a problem for you, please let me know ASAP.

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I work at jcpenny

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How are this and that alike? They aren't.

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What did the limp dick say to the vagina? Sorry, I'm a poof.

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"Hey dude, wanna come with me??" "Sure! Where????" "To the grocery store, I need to buy a couple of lemons"

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Jennifer walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender's name was Steven. His friend's sister who was my cousin's ex wife has the same name as the girl Jennifer. That's what I heard.

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How do you confuse a blond? Look at her

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Your mother is so stupid that she claimed the pole ran into her.

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Why did the chicken cross the traffic filled road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? Chicken delivery.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Banana Oh hey Banana what's up? Nothing much. You? Oh nothing, I was just talking to Apple here. Oh hey Apple. Hey.

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Thank you for flying Buzzy Fly Airlines. Today we'll be flying around Uranus.

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What do you call an old lady walking down the street? Widowed.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says, "why the long face" and the horse says "my wife just died of skin cancer."

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What's worse than eating spinach? Dying.

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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What did the orphan get for Christmas? Cancer.

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your mumma so fat when she stepped on the scales it said her phone number

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You know what's funny? Rape

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops