Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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I'm pretty sure you can't throw a fridge...

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Why don't Batman go to an Ozzy Osbourne concert? Because Batman doesn't exist.

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What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

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Why didn't the 13 year old boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

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Whats worse than being a black guy? NOTHING.

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what did the lamp say to the woman Nothing, a lamp is a plastic glass and metal inaminate object therfore it can not speak

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What did the wall say to the other wall? I didn't say anything because it isn't living and it can't talk because it is impossible.

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Why didn't Johnny's father come home? He was killed in Afghanistan.

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What happened when the man got into the taxi? The driver shot him 17 times in the chest and ran away

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You like penis, That's what you live up to.

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roses are red, violets are blue, if ruddell was black, he would smell of poo.

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What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAA

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Hi. P.S: You have aids. P.P.S: Purple penis pumpernickel pie puppets.

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5 people are walking

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What did I say to the joke? What? Correct.

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What did the black man say to the Jew? Hi.

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Q: Why did Jesus die for our sins? A: He didn't.

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A fish swims up your penis...

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What did the dead man say? Nothing because dead human beings have no beating heart and do not live so they cannot speak.

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Why can a bird fly Because it's not a banana

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a suicidal man walks up 49 floors and enters a room and opens the window. hes worked there for 5 years and the air condition is broken

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pobody's nerfect

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What do you call a dog that can't pass an Algebra test? A dog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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