A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says "Well, it's a long story but I tell you. You see, one day I was walking along the beach and I found a dusty old lamp. I rubbed the lamp and a big magic genie appeared. He told me I could have 3 wishes." The horse continues: "So I told the genie I wish I had a 10 billion dollars. I checked my bank account and sure enough it came true. My second wish was I wished for a beautiful wife. Suddenly a light came from the sky like an angel falling and I saw a beautiful woman and fell in love with her." The bartender says to the horse "Let me guess, so for your third wish, did you wish you were a horse with a long face?" The horse says "No that's not what I wished for." The bartender asks "What was your third wish?" The horse says "Well you won't believe me but I wished I was a bartender pretending to talk to a horse about some genie granting him wishes." After about 30 minutes of arguing with himself, other employees at the bar had had enough of the bartender talking to himself and called psychiatric personnel to escort the bartender to the mental hospital as his schizophrenia is getting worse.

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two penguins are hanging out in Antartica. the one looks to the other an says "man its really cold out" the other quicky waddles away because of the strange alien sound its friend just made

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How many armless people does it take to change a lightbulb? I dunno, that's why I asked you... Hello?

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i have alzheimer's, so i forgot the punchline to this joke

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A husband and wife just had a baby, and he came out black.

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How many christians does it take to change a light bulb? No one knows, by the time they finish unscrewing the burned out light, a hi-jacked plane crashes into them.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

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He who laughs last...is not a laughing owl because they're extinct.

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What did Ann Frank say when she dropped her icecream Nothing because she was captured by Natzis

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies on fire and a pile of living babies on fire? The dead babies are usually not as loud.

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my egg roll

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Which disney princess always stays old? Snow White

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Stacey has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Stacey.

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Whats black and white all over? Michael Jackson

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Gastapo

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a gay man walks into a bar. he is promptly escorted out for trying to seduce men.

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a group of mormons walk into a bar... just kidding mormons aren't aloud to drink.

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why was the girl raped? she left the kitchen.

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Roses are black Violets are black I would love to see A knife in ur back

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What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

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A hobo said to another hobo "Im homeless"

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Why couldn't the man get a job at the daycare? Because he was a serial killer/rapist.

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Why did the boy cut his hair? Because he was large.

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Why did the squirrel across the river upside down? So it could keep its nuts dry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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