Roses are red, violets are blue, I had some crack, my unicorn says hi.

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Jesus, Buddha and Mohamed walked into a bar and say: "There is as much validity in this fiction as in our collective works.

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Little Johnny is sleeping overnight at a school camping trip. The teacher goes around to check tents to make sure everybody is falling asleep fine. Little Johnny, however, says, "Miss, I am scared of the dark. Can I sleep in your tent instead?" The teacher reluctantly agrees, finishes checking around and brings Little Johnny to her tent. "Miss, can I play with your belly button with my finger? My mommy lets me", asks little Johnny. The teacher reluctantly agrees. Suddenly, the teacher jumps up. "THAT WASN'T MY BELLY BUTTON!", she shouts. "Yeah," says Little Johnny. "Well that wasn't my finger, either."

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Whats worse than one bee? Two bees. Whats worse than two bees? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bees.

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What do you call a child with a peg leg, and eye patch, and no hand? Names

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why did the boy drop the ball. he was shot in the head.

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What do u say to someone u don't like? I thought I'd let u no tht I don't like u...

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How do you stop a bus? throw a boy with an ice cream cone infront of the bus. but...come to think of it, that may not work. he might drop the ice cream on top of it >:l

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A man walks into a bar. He goes up to the Bar Tender and says, "Hit me with all you got!" The bar tender then ducks down under the bar out of sight. He comes back up with a sledge hammer and viciously murders the man. Blood spews everywhere and many others are brutally murdered shortly afterwards. :)

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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a white guy, a black guy, and a latino guy all walk into a bar. The white man explains how his family is in turmoil because of his alcholism, the black guy shares his affection for crack, and the latino man explains why he shouldnt be here due to illegal immigration. They all hate their lives. Quack

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What do Whitney Houston and MTV have in common? They both REALLY died in the 90's.

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Thats a real shame. How come your eyes are red to begin with? You can use hypnosis to change the color, but if you never learned how, I am not gonna teach you.

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why did CJ cry?he just ate a pie full of meat from his favorite animal.Pig

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Why did the middle age man walk across the street? There were no vehicles currently driving on that particular road

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What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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why did the 60 year old touch the little boy's penis? because he was a pedophile.

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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What do you say to a fat guy working out congrat him and tell him he's doing a great job and keep up the work

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What's awesome and rides a unicycle? Rollercoasters. I lied about the unicycle.

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What's Kanye West's main goal in life? To dash the hopes and dreams of Taylor Swift on national television.

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Why was little Alice and her family at the graveyard? Well someone had to come at her funeral...

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Pikachu says "Pikachu!" Squirtle says "Squirtle!" Charmander says "Charmander!" Ash is upset because he cannot communicate with his Pokemon in their foreign tongue.

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What did the snoop dog have for breakfast? Weed

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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