Q: Whats big, strong, black, and sexy? A: Your imaginary dick

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What's a vampire's favorite subject in school? Probably math.

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knock knock who's there? Tommy Tommy who? Tommy Smith from across the street, i just ran over your dog.

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A black man without problems.

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What's the opposite of a joke. An anti-joke.

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what did the beaver so to the rattle snake? snap your bagles

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Why do they call it lunchmeat? Because it is meat that you eat at lunch.

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What's long brown and sticky? S**t

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why do giraffes have long necks? because their heads are a long way from their bodies

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How do you get blood from a stone? Put it in a snowball.

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What's white and red all over? A baby in a blender

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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A man walks into a Library and asks for a book on suicide. The Librarian says: "Do you have a library card?" The man says no and applies for one.

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Q: What did the Asian say to the Jew? A: Nothing. They were both anti-social and preferred to stray from face-to-face conversations.

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Why doesn't the Athiest wear socks? He has a minor fungal condition on his feet.

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What's green and fuzzy and has legs that would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Tie her up and force her to watch as you brutally murder her entire family.

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How do you keep your dog warm? Put antifreeze in its water dish.

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a black guy with rights in 1924

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Why does Waldo wear stripes? Because he doesn't want to be spotted

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A jew goes to a bar,then wakes up with presents under his candels.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? STOLEN! You're under arrest.

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Your mother is so fat that she will die relatively early because of poor health.

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Hitler walks into a bar and is shot on sight

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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