a man is found hanging from the ceiling of a barn and there is no chairs or anything to stand on around. his girlfriend goes in to deep depression and kills herself the next week.

What do iPhones and Nokias have in common The nokia is indestructible. I lied about the iPhone

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, my chickens aren't allowed in rural areas...

So I showed my friend my blind dog. He said, "Wow I've never seen a blind dog before!" I said, "they havnt seen you either."

A guy walks into a bar. The bar was closed. Tough luck.

Why are elephants big, grey and wrinkled? Beacause if they where small, white and smooth, they would be an aspirin!!!

Scenario: 2 people are in a desert. There is only 1 bottle of water left to drink. Who drinks it? Neither of them, they drink the gallon bottle of gatorade instead.

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Depending on whether you have permission to eat it, either stolen property, or a nice snack shared between friends.

Two muffins are in an oven. They turn out delicious.

Man: "Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup?" The waiter shrugs and walks away. The restaurant is subsequently shut down because the man was a health inspector and also found evidence of rodents in the kitchen.

What is black and beats up white people? a cop you racist!

what goes oom oom a cow walking backwards

I used to work at a lightbulb factory... I made the filaments

Theres 3 guys walking and the see a genie. He says hell grant 3 wishes. The first guy asked for sandals. The genie said"I can do that" and he got sandals. The second guy asked for rock hard abs.The genie said,"sure thing".When he looked down, he saw that he had rock hard abs. The third guy asked for a pair of pants."ok" Said the genie. And then he got a pair of pants.

Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

A man cries out to god.. and god doesn't answer.

if one legs christmas and the other is new years then you have a rare desease call holidaylegtosisisisisis

Q: why did the chicken cross the road? A: nobody knows, but the road was royally pissed off.

What did the mountain biker say when he saw a double rainbow? This a very rare occurrence in nature, and I should enjoy this rare phenomenon.

Why can't Helen Keller drive a bus? Because she's dead

why did the boy drop his icecream? Because he got hit by a boat

What did the man do after a bad day at work? He went home and beat his wife

How do you lock out a Chinese Person? Lock the door

What did the boy reading a book do? Run into a pole.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...