Q: Whats the worst thing to drop in a prison shower? A: An exploding nail gun

What's funny about 9/11. Nothing.

LA Police, Christine Collins called. She wants her son back.

Roses are red Violets are blue If you need a poo.... ...hold it in.

whats wooden and hard a wooden floor

Your mom's so fat that she is going to contract heart disease by age 30.

what do you call a professional gamer Their name

Want to hear a dirty joke? The horse fell in the mud

Why are fish so easy to weigh? Because usually they've been killed, stunned or sedated first.

Why was the man crying? He has aids.

-Why did the man sue the train driver after he witnessed his friends death? -Because he was owed a duty of care.

Beethoven! It is true? Did you really lose your hearing? Yes.

Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Because he's blind.

How is an elephant like a grape? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

what's worse than fining out that the best and worst jokes on anti-joke.com are about the Holocaust The Holocaust

The early bird gets the worm, but the angry bird gets the pig.

what did one lady say to another lady we are both ladies

Adam Chebali is awesome

If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose!

Dolly Parton's bobbs are so fake that they both have silicone in them.

i like my coffee like i like my women ... with big titis

How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends. How hard can you throw?

What do Miley and Billy Ray Cyrus have in common? Half their DNA

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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