How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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- Why did the black man turn off the TV when he saw 2 guys kiss each other? - He was late to the gay-party around the corner.

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What is better than winning the Special Olympics? Not being retarded

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A guy who's father of eight children, married to a wonderful woman for fifty years, he likes pizza and spaghetti, he smokes cigars occasionally, he also exercises : He runs around the block every other day. He's the manager of a pizza shop and he's living in a two-floor house he calls his home... Nothing really funny happens to this guy, but that's got to be the most detailed character background in a joke ever.

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Why was the mexican dead? Because he overdosed on Methamphetamine.

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Why is Kayne West such a jerk? He has autism.

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What do you call a brunette between two blondes? Susan.

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2 loaves of bread were in a bar they did nothing as they are inanimate objects

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How did the little boy survive war? He respawned at his teams side of the map

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What did Lance Armstrong say to his critics? I have one testical

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a horse walks in to a bar and the bar tender asks, "why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because it is a horse and is confused by its surroundings and then gallops out of the bar knocking over a few tables as it makes its escape.

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How do you call a half deaf duck? HEY DUCK!!!!!!

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Q: What happened to Sally, did she get that cough checked out? A: She died while driving there and got in a 12 car pileup.

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A man walks into a bar and slowly draws a pistol and kills 5 people.

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How many finger does a fat person have? I don't know you can never find there hands.

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A blond walks into a bar. She orders a drink.

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A baby seal walks into a club...

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If you live in the 'living' room, what do you do in the others? You die.

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How many squirrels does it take to change a light bulb? 10 because they're so darn stupid!

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What do homosexual men do during sex? I don't know, but if you want to, I suggest you ask one of them.

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A blind man walks into the door of a bar

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Why did the man push open the door? The sign said PUSH.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

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Womens Basketball.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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