What did Tarzan say when he say an elephant coming over a hill? Hey look, there's an elephant coming over a hill!

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So I showed my friend my blind dog. He said, "Wow I've never seen a blind dog before!" I said, "they havnt seen you either."

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What do iPhones and Nokias have in common The nokia is indestructible. I lied about the iPhone

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Why are elephants big, grey and wrinkled? Beacause if they where small, white and smooth, they would be an aspirin!!!

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Scenario: 2 people are in a desert. There is only 1 bottle of water left to drink. Who drinks it? Neither of them, they drink the gallon bottle of gatorade instead.

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SOCIOPATH SAYS: Bitch, rate all my comments thumbs up, if you do I wont rape you... YOu know unless I feel like, women kinda like it when men are in touch with their feelings... SO yeah... Im gonne touch your feelings ;) Nah, nope, no homo, you a gal? We can meet! Voluntary rape! (No I did not say voluntary sex, rape, you can say the saferword: OMG SO GOOD HARDER HARDER! If I you know... Am about to kill you... Which I will do if we get to that stage anyways... Relax ill recycle you. Moral: NeroMetal Think Recycling! Save our planet! ITS LIKE RAPING AND KILLING A PERSON!

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Person A: Is your refrigerator running? Person B: Yes Person A: Good! Now, your milk won't spoil.

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knock knock whos there? a rapiest get in my van. ok, let me just get my purse

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How many alzheimers patients does it take to change a light bulb? How many? How many alzheimers patients does it take to change a light bulb?

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What did one eye say to the other? Nothing. Because eye's can't talk.

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Where should a 500 pound alien go? On a diet.

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what happened to the boy who asked for a hit from the bong? he got punched in the face.

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Today, I had intercourse with a teddy bear

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guess what the quarterback did he threw the ball!

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Cnorris can carry very heavy objects

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a Jewish preist grew up in a black family. what do you call them? a loving family.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Cancer.

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

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Whats something only kids wear? Clothes

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Chuck Norris witnessed a crime.What did he really witness? A Jehovah's witness. xD

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if one legs christmas and the other is new years then you have a rare desease call holidaylegtosisisisisis

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What did the three-leaf clover say to the four-leaf clover? "FREAK!"

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Why is Travis so hilarious? ....Trick question hes not.

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Why couldn't the baby walk through the door? Babies can't walk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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